对不起 我必须说

有好几度
在夜深人静时
躲在被窝里哭泣
我都好想逃离这个家
甚至想过
如果不是生在这里的我
会不会好一点

心里的天使告诉我
我不可以这么想
更没有那个权力
因为一切都只能是我的错

你发脾气
是我的错
你不听我说话
是我的错
你不了解我要什么
是我的错
你不体谅我
也只能是我的错

面对你的一切责备
我只能哑口应对
因为怎么样都是我的错

我没有权力发言
没有权力发怒
因为最后错的只会是我

而写下这些的我
不会能到世俗的体谅
因为当决定写下这些
我便是错的

因为你是我的妈妈

而我
好累 你知道吗

可不可以放过我

昨夜在你的肩上哭了
我是多么无助
多么疲惫
你轻轻握着我的手
我摇头不说
但我想你知道
因为那通电话

哥哥说
你要忍
忍到你真的离开为止
为什么
为什么别人温暖的避风港
却是我最不想回到的地方
为什么血脉相通的两个人
却冷冷相对
而为什么今天听到她回到家的钥匙声
我选择了装睡
她也始终没有打开门对我说一句话
为什么我要这样
做个不孝的女儿

很烦

从来都不喜欢循规蹈矩的说法
讨厌别人把世俗的标准套在我身上
今年的圣诞我不满意
因为有那么多的“为什么你不”
为什么我要？
为什么我必须？
那为什么你不？
为什么你一定要？

有些人的眼光就那么大
因为活在几十年筑起的壳子里
那么坚硬
谁都无法突破
谁都没有权力一把铁锤打破
我的壳子软软的
没有多少人欣赏
或许我看似没有坚定的立场
但体恤 了解 接纳 便是我的坚持

体会

有些人的世界我不了解
我烦恼 我纳闷
有时候我让自己脱离
还是不甘心被忽略
为什么自己站在一个角落里
为什么自己连笑都要假装

好久好久
我让自己没有愤怒 只有笑容
直到剩下麻木
常常渴望
有个人叫做知己

发现了
原来不是站在角落里
只是自己选择了抽离
远离了不必要的情绪
背弃了自认为的庸俗
回归了真挚的自己

我站在这里
珍惜一切的靠近 停留和远去
从别人身上
我认识自己

Just for the fun of it, and becos I'm stabbed

THE RULES!
bold the statements that are true to you
italise the statements that you WISH are true
leave the fibs alone
then, stab 5 guys to do the same test

I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch TV these days.
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I’ve tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I’ve broken someone’s bones.
I’m paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop than eat.
I don’t hate anyone. I dislike them.
I’m a pretty good dancer.
I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I’ve rejected someone before.
I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I’ve called the cops on a friend before.
I’m not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend’s significant other or crush in the past.
I own the “South Park” movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.
I have dated a close friends’s ex.
I am happy at this moment!!
I’m obsessed with guys
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever i can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald’s restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can’t live without black eyeliner.
I don’t know why the hell i just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I’ve ever written in.
I can’t stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can’t stand at LEAST one person that i work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I’m an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary. (actually, i seldom :P)
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.

Boring, but ya i have done it. ( For mq and yw, haha)

你

在稍显冰冷的晚风吹起的那个夜晚
握着你的手
无论是紧紧地被牵着
还是我的小手拖着你最后一根小指
抱着你依偎在你胸膛中
两只手完美地环抱着清瘦的你
曾经尴尬的高度
如今成为最舒服的角度

你的笑
你的温柔
还有别人心中的你

珍惜
想念

忆

很奇妙
原来望着那个面孔
心里还是能够激起涟漪
微妙的感觉
面对面也没有

因为那个笑容是多么遥远

Leave me alone

总有那么一个时候
我喜欢封闭自己
让自己在自己的世界里憔悴 堕落
不想去听别人的规劝
不愿迎合世俗的规则

一个人的规则
便是融入自己一个人的氛围
在孤单中寻求安慰

没自信的孩子

我

小小地

就小小地
想念

好想念

请容许我
就小小的

To A Best Friend,

一段缘分，一场友谊
八年的认识，六年前的一场安排
两年的互相了解，永远的彼此珍惜
不用每次见面和互动，无需尴尬亲昵的动作

Maggie Ong,
Happy Birthday!

May you always be well, and find the true happiness in your life.
And your well being is always my blessing. :)

恐惧

昨天在车上一个大刹车，没有绑安全带的我整个飞向前，手肘和两个膝盖撞出了浅浅的淤青。才短短的两秒钟吧，我只记得挡风玻璃逼近我的视线。只差几公分，头上也差点长了大包了。

过后我竟哭了出来。大概是吓着了。

今天，他送我回家的路上下着大雨，快速公路上车辆也很多。一路上我战战兢兢，只要稍微刹车，都会深吸一口气。平时的我明明没事的，有时还能呼呼大睡。我想我真的是吓坏了，想不到胆子这么小。

开车真不是开玩笑。我不想学车的决定看来也没错。

我的新情人

刚被我把到手，正与我在培养关系中。约会了一次，偶尔有点小摩擦，但做出点调整，适应上不成问题。

鞋子（尤其是高跟鞋）的储藏正在慢慢增加，我想我成为小鞋痴了。暗暗许下一个虚荣的目标：在40岁前拥有上百双鞋，并且在家里摆上专属它们的美丽鞋柜。:)

减肥不是我的茶

每次扬言要减肥，我就变成孕妇。

成天想着食物，不饿也想吃。一会儿想吃油炸食物，一会儿想要吃快餐。可是为了减除自己的罪恶感，只能把食欲投射在低脂肪牛奶和水果上。每天抓抓自己的轮胎，忏悔自己的罪行。

减肥真的不是我的茶。运动更不是。夸下海口要减肥，要参加明年一年一度的10km marathon，我想最适合我的无非是激将法。

你变了

一个始料未及的答案
我笑了
朋友也笑了
尝试改变对我从来都是那么陌生
如今在你身上应验了

我受宠若惊
我 满足

从简

当恢复到平静的那一刻
我庆幸
踏着一步步柔和的脚步
数着一分分幸福的时刻

简单的风
简单的雨

尊重

最近好像有点忽略了这方面
今天想想
这是人与人之间最重要的
对陌生人都要如此
何况是好朋友之间

切记

了解你的艺术

开始了解怎样了解你。

言语中不轻易流露的疼爱
行为中带有保留的呵护

我懂

有别于昭示天下的爱
我爱的是那内敛的温柔

我变了

彻底的变了吧
所以才会认不出自己
认不出和你说话的我